HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR BRIDESMAIDS
Hey my loves! I was watching one of my favorite movies for the 30th time and I felt moved to write a blog. What’s that movie you ask? That would be “Bridesmaids”! Now I can watch this movie over and over and laugh like I’ve never seen it before, but come on, who really wants to deal with all that drama when they are getting married? So, today, let's talk all about BRIDESMAIDS.
Now let me preface this by saying that I think every bride should choose her closest gal pals to stand and walk with her through this beautiful time in her life. But at the same time, if your gal pals are full of drama and chaos, you will do better to utilize them in other ways.
Something I find a lot of brides do is ignore their better judgement to spare their friends’ feelings; and more often than not, it comes back to bite them in the ass. So let’s avoid that pain all together and just be upfront and honest with your theatrical buddies.
That’s Easier Said than Done
So let’s take this one step at a time, shall we? When it comes time for you to decide which friends you want to be by your side on your wedding day, you really need to put some serious thought into it. Think about their personality traits, their level of patience and their willingness to participate.
Your bridesmaids will be an integral part of your entire planning journey and they can play a big role in weather or not it goes smoothly. So before you send that “Will You Be My Bridesmaid?” gift, keep these things in mind:
1. Just because she asked you to be in her wedding doesn’t mean you’re obligated to ask her to be in yours.
2. If she is self-centered and the attention always has to be on her, you better believe she will somehow make your special day all about her.
3. If the only person she gets along with is you, then the rest of your bridesmaids will be miserable and no one will be having any fun.
4. If you’re expecting them to pay for their dress, shoes, jewelry, etc., leave the unemployed friend off the list.
5. If your sister(s) are the drama queens in your world, it will be a little harder to keep them off your list. So you will need to really have a heart to heart with her and let her know that you will NOT be for the drama. If you don’t think she will respect that, you will need to find another responsibility for her.
6. Just because you have a large family doesn’t mean you have to include every member in your bridal party. There is plenty that will need to be done, I’m sure you can find something for them to do to feel included.
7. And lastly, if she is NOT genuinely happy and excited for you, she definitely shouldn’t make the cut.
That Seems Harsh
Now in your mind, you might be saying “man Omishan, you’re being pretty harsh.” Well let me tell you this and hear me loud and clear, YOUR LIFE WILL BE MISERABLE if you don’t choose your bridal party wisely.
You want friends who will be there to support you during this transition. You shouldn’t have to babysit their feelings and stroke their egos while you are not only planning your wedding but also mentally and spiritually preparing yourself for marriage.
This is a time of reflection for you and that will be damn near impossible to do if you choose bridesmaids that can’t get along, are looking to you to be a referee, or are pulling at you for attention. So no, I’m not being harsh, I’m being real. You don’t have to be mean or rude when making your decisions but you do need to be firm.
Go to those friends that you are turning down and explain to them why you didn’t choose them to be in the wedding. The conversation will not be an easy one but in order to preserve the friendship, you owe her at least an explanation for your decision. If you can’t be honest and have a heartfelt conversation with her, then your friendship is not as strong as you may want to believe.
I emphasize this point in every blog post I write. This should be a peaceful and joyous time in your life. You will have tons of decisions to make and a slew of people to rely on, so do everything in your power to make this journey as seamless as possible. And choosing bridesmaids that will make your life easier during this time will put you on the right path.
I hope I wasn’t too blunt, but I see too many brides focusing on the drama of her bridal party instead of on what’s important. So I hope these tips will help you to avoid this possible wedding planning woe.
Wedding Planning Timeline
This is the EXACT wedding planning timeline that I used to successfully plan my own wedding.