FREQUENTLY ASKED WEDDING QUESTIONS: GUEST LIST
There are so many questions that come up from engaged couples and their families and guests. They don't always require long explanations, so this is a “Frequently Asked Wedding Questions” series that I'll do every so often to answer some of those burning questions.
These will be quick and easy to read posts answering a few questions I get all the time about weddings. In today’s post, I’ll be answering a few questions about your guest list. Let’s get to it!
How can I narrow down my guest list?
First off, release yourself from obligation. You do not have to invite every person you have ever met to your wedding. You don’t need to invite all of your co-workers, church members, and classmates. So, let’s start there.
The people you want at your wedding should be people who know and love you and your fiancé and who will be there to celebrate your love. If you or your fiancé hasn’t spoken to someone in 3 or more years, they shouldn’t be invited. This means those high school friends, college dormmates, and third and fourth cousins whose names you have to think about.
You can limit the plus-ones to guests who are in committed relationships (married, engaged, living together, or in long-term relationships). You can also choose to have an adult only reception. This will eliminate children weighing your list down.
Can I send save-the-dates to people I’m not inviting to the wedding?
This is an absolute NO NO. Remember, a save-the-date is an informal invitation. If you are on the fence about inviting someone to your wedding, it’s better to not send them a save-the-date at all and just send them an invitation once you are 100% sure you want to extend an invitation to them.
Do we have to invite plus-ones?
Absolutely not. It is customary to include a plus one for guests who are in committed relationships (married, living together, or long-term relationships), but other than that, no you do not.
How do I handle guests who insists on bringing kids to our “adult only” reception?
You must be very firm with this. Call the guest (even if they’ve contacted you through text or email) and kindly, but firmly explain that the invitation was just for the adults and that you hope they can still attend. Stick to your decision and don’t be guilted in giving in. It’s not fair to other guests who respect your wishes. You can, however, invite the flower girl and the ring bearer without being hypocritical.
One thing to consider, if it’s in your budget is, you can arrange to have childcare provided during your reception for those guests who have children. This gives those guests with children another option while still respecting your wishes.
I love answering your questions and giving you a one stop shop to get the answers you need. So please, if you have wedding questions that come up, leave them in the comment section below and I’ll be sure to add them to my list and post the answers for you.
I am the owner of Adesuwa Events, a New Orleans based wedding consulting business where I provide intentional guidance and direction to couples who desire to plan their own weddings. I'm a New Orleans girl who lives for a good festival with amazing food (usually CARBS) and good music. My mission is to help bring fulfillment and provide guidance to all of you couples going through your wedding planning journeys while preparing for a marriage that is more memorable than your wedding.
Recently engaged and wondering what to do first? No worries, I've got you covered. Use this guide and you will be well on your way to wedding planning bliss!
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