TOP WEDDING PLANNING RECOMMENDATIONS (PART 2 )
To continue this 2-part series on my top wedding planning recommendations, I want to focus on your relationships, future marriage, and the wedding day itself.
I know, maybe you’re thinking, you have enough on your plate, but believe me when I tell you that Part 2 is just as important as Part 1, if not more so. You have to remember, planning for just the wedding is short sighted. You also have to plan for healthy relationships as well.
So, let’s keep this party going with Part 2 of my top wedding planning recommendations.
If you haven’t gotten a chance to read Part 1, I strongly urge you to check it out, as it focuses on specific planning tasks.
Let’s first dig into my recommendations focused on your relationships and future marriage.
1| talk it out
Do you know what the number 1 cause of divorce is in America? If you’re thinking infidelity, nope, you’re wrong. It’s actually money fights and money problems. And do you know that most couples don’t even discuss money and other important topics before saying I do?
Well, this is my first marriage preparation recommendation, go through pre-marital counseling. Yes, you can talk about topics like, money, children, and religion on your own, but a good pre-marital counselor will really dig deep and force some serious discussions.
If you and your fiancé are not on the same page and really agree on these very important topics, then you are setting your marriage up to fail. So, take the time needed to not just plan for your wedding day, but go through some real, quality counseling so that your wedding won’t be in vain.
2| enjoy your fiancé’s company
Have you been out on a date with your fiancé lately? And if you have, what was the topic of your conversation? If it was wedding planning, then you haven’t been on a quality date. So, this recommendation is to go on at least a monthly date night where wedding planning is not the topic of discussion.
I know, you’re probably thinking that this is impossible. You have too many things to do than to make time for a date night or if you manage to make time, there are so many wedding decisions to make. But trust me, your relationship will thrive because of it.
Your engagement is a time of preparation. The catch here, is that, it’s not just for wedding preparations. It’s also for marriage preparations because it will be what remains after your wedding day. So, you must nurture it. Schedule a day each month like it’s a meeting with a vendor. Don’t miss it or cancel it. Make it as much of a priority as any other appointment you have set in calendar.
Discuss things that are concerning you (outside of wedding planning). Talk about what your dreams are for the future. Talk about how excited you are about seeing your families for the holidays.
The point here is that you need to have some substance in your relationship beyond the wedding. Let all the wedding decisions and choices be the topic of discussion on the other 29 days of the month and allow this 1 day to be the day where the wedding is off limits.
3| the world is still turning
I know that when you are in the middle of wedding planning, it feels like everything should be all about you. It’s all about the many things going on in your life and it’s easy to forget that the life you had before you got engaged still exists.
So here, I’m recommending that you take a step away from your wedding planning to do’s and have a girls’ day/night with your closest friends to just reconnect. This again is about nurturing your relationships.
If your friendships are important to you, then you should put some time into them even while you’re in the middle of wedding planning. You have to remember, that although you are going through a major transition in your life, your friends have things going on with them as well. So, check in with them and make sure that you are being a good to friend to them.
4| get away
I don’t’ know about you, but I love to get away from time to time just to destress. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, just enough to remove myself from the hustle of everyday life. This is something I recommend you do with your fiancé.
Take a mini vacation with your fiancé a couple of months before your wedding. Again, this should be a wedding planning free trip. This is a time for the two of you to reconnect and focus on your relationship.
Some people may say, isn’t this what the honeymoon is for? And I would say, no. This trip is for connection and preparation for your marriage. You’re not coming off of the wedding day high, as you would be on your honeymoon. It’s meant to look beyond the wedding day and set a precedence for the rest of your married life; to spend one on one time together focusing on your relationship and engaging in activities that will strengthen your bond.
Now, let’s discuss my recommendations for the wedding day
5| stick to the script
So, once your wedding day roles around, there will be a lot of moving parts. Between you and your bridesmaids getting dolled up and your reception venue getting made over, there has to be some order to the madness.
This is where my next recommendation comes in. You can’t just have a wedding day timeline, you have to stick to it. Now, if you have done as I recommended and hired a wedding day coordinator, you would have sat down with her to plan out how you want your wedding day to flow. Your photographer and glam squad will also have requirements, all of which should be included in your timeline.
Once you have your timeline all mapped out, it’s so important to stick to it. Going over time on any one thing can throw the flow off for the entire day. This is why I strongly recommend a wedding day coordinator to not only keep you on time, but also to help keep things realistic and to allot for delays.
6| picture perfect
Have you ever been to a wedding reception and didn’t see the bride and groom for what seemed like hours after it started? It’s the worst. You’ve witnessed the ceremony and now you want to celebrate with the newlyweds, but they are M.I.A.
You don’t want to do this to your guests. Usually, what’s going on, is the couple is taking photos with their families and bridal party. So, to help remedy this, I suggest first off having a shot list already mapped out with your photographer. Include this in a time slot on your wedding day itinerary. That way, your photographer already knows what shots need to be taken and how much time is allotted.
Secondly, I recommend, taking these photos immediately after your ceremony. This way, once you get you to the reception, you can spend just a few moments to decompress and then celebrate with your guests without long wait times in between.
You have to remember that your guests want to spend time and party with you at your reception. So, try to get all of your family portraits done as quickly as possible so you can be present with your other guests and enjoy the rest of your wedding day.
7| rain, rain go away
Unfortunately, we can’t control everything. And the one thing we have absolutely no control over, is Mother Nature. Yea, I know, it sucks, but there’s nothing we can do about it. So, my last recommendation is to always have a contingency plan for inclement weather.
This is especially important if any part of your wedding ceremony or reception is outdoors. Maybe you need to have a tent on standby if rain or snow is in the forecast. Or maybe everything can be moved indoors if the weather gets really bab. The point is, you want to have a plan.
All of these recommendations (Part 1 included) are tried and true based on actual experiences and lessons learned. So, take the easy route and put these recommendations to use.
Now, below I am giving you the exact Wedding Planning Timeline that I used while planning my wedding. It has the main 2 to 3 things to focus on each month leading up to your wedding. Incorporate all of these recommendations and you will be well on your way to a blissful wedding planning journey!
Wedding Planning Timeline
This is the EXACT wedding planning timeline that I used to successfully plan my own wedding.
I am the owner of Adesuwa Events, a New Orleans based wedding consulting business where I provide intentional guidance and direction to couples who desire to plan their own weddings. I'm a New Orleans girl who lives for a good festival with amazing food (usually CARBS) and good music. My mission is to help bring fulfillment and provide guidance to all of you couples going through your wedding planning journeys while preparing for a marriage that is more memorable than your wedding.
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