HOW TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP FIRST WHILE WEDDING PLANNING
When you are in the thick of wedding planning, it can be very easy to let every other aspects of your life go by the wayside. Now, although it’s easy to just let that happen, it’s probably not wise. The one thing you, for sure, should continue to nurture is your relationship with your fiancé.
If your relationship begins to suffer because you aren’t paying enough attention to it or it’s no longer a priority, then what’s really the point of the whole wedding? So, don’t let your wedding planning be in vain. Follow these tips to keep your relationship first so you will have a marriage to speak of after your wedding.
1| schedule regular date nights
Can you remember way back when you first starting dating how excited you were to have a night out with your, then, boyfriend? How you looked forward to it and felt all ooey gooey inside? Put on your cutest outfit and put some effort in your hair and makeup? Recreate those moments.
Take time out of your busy schedules to reconnect with each other. Leave all the wedding planning conversations at the house and just enjoy each other’s company. Talk about all the things that brought you to this point in your lives and what the future can bring.
Don’t discuss anything pertaining the actual wedding day. Your future marriage? Absolutely, go for it. But let the wedding talk resume the next morning.
Now, I will say that you need to schedule these date nights. Put them on your calendars so you know that this week on, Thursday, that night is blocked off for quality time. If you don’t do this, you will risk scheduling another task in its place and end up not going on your date.
2| engage in a regular activity together
Make this one fun, guys. If you and your fiancé enjoy running, have a routine where you go running every morning together before you start your day. Or maybe you’re more like me, and rather an activity where your heart rate remains normal, and enjoy going to the spa. Have regular appointments where you get couple’s massages and go for a long walk by the lake afterwards.
The point here is to do an actual activity that you both enjoy. Even if that means hanging out at home and watching Netflix. You can incorporate this into your date night, but I would recommend this be separate. This should actually be something you do on a routine basis though, not just once or twice during your engagement.
3| go through premarital counseling
This, guys, is my NUMBER 1 recommendation. I know, some of you may not feel it’s necessary, but trust me when I say that if you want to have a healthy marriage, you need to do this.
A good premarital counselor will ask you the hard questions, address issues that come up, and make you think about your relationship on a much deeper level. You also learn so much about yourself and your partner in the process. But what it will do most of all for you, is get your brain ready for this new transition called marriage.
You may already be living with your partner, or maybe you have been dating for over a decade. So what. Still get your booty in some counseling. This is one of those things that no matter how much I emphasize it, you will only understand the impact and magnitude when you go through it.
4| talk about the tough stuff
You know, there are statistics that say if you and your partner are in agreement on certain issues, that the chances of having a healthy, successful marriage that will last increases tremendously. The problem is most couples don’t talk about them.
They avoid the conversations or make assumptions and say things like, “I know what he will do” or “she’ll change her mind after we’re married.” Unfortunately, those couples don’t typically last. Or if they do, they are living in an unhappy marriage filled with frustration, distrust, and resentment.
So, do yourselves a favor and avoid that drama. You aren’t going through all this wedding planning and decision making to end up with a marriage that doesn’t make you happy. Have the tough conversations and talk about the difficult topics. It won’t be easy, but you will be glad that you did it.
I get very specific in which conversations you should have in this post, “Topics to Discuss Before Saying I Do.”
5| express frustrations with each other
So, if you haven’t already, you will find that planning your wedding may lead to a few frustrations. It can be from your families wanting you to do things you don’t, to your bridal party not stepping up the way you want, to your vendors not responding to your emails quick enough. You may even find that your fiancé is getting on your last nerve.
When this happens, express these to each other. Especially anything that’s causing tension in your relationship. Don’t go to your mom or best friend and complain to them about things going on in your relationship before you address it with your partner.
You don’t need all those opinions clouding your judgement. Talk these things out with your fiancé. Communicate your frustrations with each other and don’t make assumptions that it will just get better.
Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t talk to your mom or someone you respect to get wise counsel. Oh no, you should definitely do that. But before you involve other people in the intricacies of your relationship, you and your fiancé should be communicating the issues with each other first. Otherwise, you risk the chance of everyone else’s opinions making decisions for you before you have had the opportunity to hash it out with your partner together.
6| show each other gratitude and appreciation
Can you remember the last time you looked at your fiancé and just said thank you? Not after he gave you something or did something that was expected of him. But because, you were thinking about him and the role he plays in your life.
Remember to show each other gratitude and appreciation. Gratitude for choosing you. Gratitude for putting up with your mood swings during this transition. Appreciation for running that errand so you didn’t have to.
It’s the little things that will keep your relationship strong, so acknowledge that you are grateful for him and that you appreciate him. And he should do the same for you. This is a two-way street, after all.
7| take a vacation, just the two of you
At some point between the time that you say YES and I DO, take a vacation together. Just the two of you. No other friends or family. Leave all the worries of life and wedding planning behind and use this time to reconnect with each other.
This doesn’t have to be an elaborate vacation if you don’t want it to be. You can go to a bed and breakfast in the next town over for the weekend. You can be a visitor in your own city and stay in a hotel downtown. Or you can take a 2-week trip to Europe. It’s completely up to you.
The point here is to take a few days to disconnect from your everyday life and really focus on the strength of your relationship. Focus on what’s important to you in your marriage. Love on one another and just enjoy each other’s company.
Any married person will tell you that these tips will probably need to continue throughout your marriage if you want it to to grow and prosper. So why not get a jump start on it now?
If you take the time to nurture your relationship and keep it first by following these tips, you will have a constant reminder that will energize you to push through the frustrations while working hard on planning your wedding.
Now, if you read through this post and are thinking, my goodness, I barely have time to shower let alone squeeze more things on my to do list, Then I have a treat for you. I am giving you the exact wedding planning timeline that I used to plan my wedding.
This timeline isn’t a long 20-page list of things to do. Instead, it is broken down month by month with the 2 to 3 main things you should be focused on each month leading up to your wedding. That way, your attention will only need to be on certain tasks instead of all the tasks.
Using this timeline to organize your to-do’s will surely allow you to put these much-needed relationship tips into action to keep your relationship first.
Wedding Planning Timeline
This is the EXACT wedding planning timeline that I used to successfully plan my own wedding.